Confessions of a Funeral Director

Finished June 15
Confessions of a Funeral Director: How the Business of Death Saved My Life by Caleb Wilde

The author of this book started writing a blog about his experience as a sixth generation funeral director, and that led to this book. He is very open about his experiences, including his initial reluctance to join the family business, one that both of his parents grew up in. He discusses his crisis of faith, his ongoing uncertainty about his career, his moments of understanding and enlightenment, his respect for the people whose bodies he looks after, and their loved ones. He talks about his own family and the things he has learned from his father, both his grandfathers, and others. He includes deaths that affected him personally, as well as those for whom he only learned the stories as he carried out his services. Drawing on different experiences that he was part of, he showed how other people, other organizations, and religious bodies showed honour to those that died as well.
He took on graduate work on the subject of death, religion, and culture and thus was closely observing these experiences, thinking hard about them, and trying to learn more, and that all shows here.
One bit of writing that I shared with a friend going through her own loss touched me,

Nevertheless, death asks us to pause. It doesn't tell us what we need to do when we pause (there may be nothing to do at all), but it asks us to be in its presence. To site with it. Listen to it. To lay aside chronos and embrace kairos. [Kairos has to do with the quality of time, not with the passing of time] ... It's not a moment of weakness but of strength, and we need to be reminded to allow for these natural pauses in life. We will find that death sits at the heart of what it means to be human, and we mayjust find ourselves when we practice death Sabbath

I didn't always connect with everything he wrote, as much as did with this, but I always appreciated his thoughts and feelings around these issues.

The Grave's a Fine and Private Place

Finished May 11
The Grave's a Fine and Private Place by Alan Bradley, read by Jayne Entwhistle

This is the ninth book in the series featuring Flavia de Luce. Flavia, her sisters, and Dogger have left the family home to fill their days, their home being a sad place at present. Her oldest sister is put out by having to delay her marriage, and all three are unhappy at their aunt's insistence that they move to London. Dogger has suggested the village of Volesthorpe as a distraction, and as the book begins they are slowing being rowed on the river. Flavia has one hand over the side, skimming the water, when the hand catches on something. She imagines it to be a fish, but on examination it proves that her hand is caught in the mouth of a young man, a dead young man.
When she draws Dogger's attention to it, they head for shore, bringing the body with them. And Flavia is engaged in another mystery, a distraction indeed. Once on shore, Dogger assigns Ophelia and Daphne a task to keep them looking out at the river, as he and Flavia move the body to a grassy bank. When Dogger goes off in search of the police, Flavia looks for clues, and finds a few, naturally. As the police arrive, along with the vicar, the family retreats to the nearby inn for lunch. There, the two older sisters bolster themselves with a pint of Guinness and Flavia and Dogger make plans to investigate further.
There are other distractions here including a circus with an aggressive woman owner, and a group of rowdies, an inn landlady with a hidden poetry habit, and a famous actress in her golden years. Flavia befriends a young boy who has done some experimenting of his own, and butts heads with the local police officer.
The sisters grow closer here, something that is nice to see. Flavia also begins a much closer relationship with Dogger, who is more forthcoming about his own knowledge and connections. This book moves in a new direction, but an interesting one it is.

The Undertaker's Wife

Finished November 17
The Undertaker's Wife: a Memoir: a True Story of Love, Loss, and Laughter in the Unlikeliest of Places by Dee Oliver

This memoir begins with the sudden and unexpected death of Dee's husband Johnnie and moves forward from there, but also takes a look back at how she met and married Johnnie, and how they had their three daughters. It was obviously a strong relationship and the loss was devastating for her.
Dee's children are still young as she loses her husband, and while she had worked at Johnnie's side for years in his family's business, a funeral home in Virginia, she had never taken the courses or done the paperwork to become a funeral director. Determined to carry on what she knew she was good at, she worked, looked after the kids, and took classes. When it came time to do her internship, she naturally went to Johnnie's brother who was now running the funeral home, but he told her he didn't want her working there anymore. While shocked and hurt, Dee was not deterred, and she found another funeral home who would take her on. It was one that was operated by African Americans and largely catered to that demographic. Dee tells us of her experiences in a way that shows her openness and humour.
This memoir is personal, but also portrays an industry that we don't often see.

Bellman & Black

Finished November 30
Bellman & Black by Diane Setterfield

This novel centers around William Bellman. When William is ten years old, her makes a challenge to himself in front of his friends that he can hit a bird with a shot from his slingshot, a shot that should be beyond him, but he does indeed hit the rook and kills him.
Years later his paternal uncle offers him a position at the family mill, and discovers that William has an aptitude for the work, good at analyzing, good with numbers, and good with people. William's father had run off when he was only an infant and his grandparents had cut William and his mother off from that side of the family, but his uncle is willing to buck the pressure and take a chance on William. And William's life changes forever.
But when a mysterious stranger begins to appear in William's life, his luck changes again, and doesn't change until William believes he makes a deal with the man.
William ends up building an empire in the business of death, providing not only funeral services, but also all the trappings for funerals and mourning. This part was particularly interesting to see the details of Victorian funeral conventions.
The rook theme introduced in William's youth also reappears again and again through the novel, perhaps associated with the mysterious stranger. I liked the chapters on rooks, each one giving an interesting term for a group of these birds.
This is a tale of a man's life, triumphs and regrets, happiness and sorrow. And an underlying fear that follows him throughout.

Interesting look at an industry

Finished April 10
Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker-in-Training by Tom Jokinen
Jokinen is a journalist who has worked on a number of CBC shows. When his family relocated to Winnipeg, he decided to do a project on the business of dying. He began working with a family-owned funeral home with its own crematorium. As he learned more about the business, he also delved into literature about it, and travelled to other locations to see what trends were developing in the industry.
His account is personal yet informative, humorous yet respectful. This is an industry few of us know much about, and most of us don't think of until we have to, yet there are so many interesting aspects of it. I was fascinated by the detail and the variety of choices. While Jokinen describes the processes involved, it never seems gory or offputting. I found that I learned a lot and will be better prepared when I do have to deal with death. I recommend this to anyone with a curious mind.

Boston Mystery

Finished November 3
Tethered by Amy MacKinnon
This is MacKinnon's first novel and it is a winner. The setting is unique, a small town funeral home. Clara Marsh is an undertaker without a religion. She has had a difficult past that she keeps to herself. When she comes across a young girl, Trecie, playing in the funeral home, she finds herself concerned despite herself. A local police officer, Mike Sullivan, approaches her about a body of a young girl that she prepared for burial three years earlier. The girl was found murdered in a nearby strip of woods and never identified. As Clara begins to think the two girls are linked, she must emerge from her lonely life and take the chance of connecting with others in the community.
Mike has his own issues, the biggest of which is the death three years earlier of his pregnant wife. He is also caught up in his own world of lonesomeness.
As Clara becomes more involved in the case involving abuse against young girls, she must also face her own past and how she dealt with the challenges in her life and the choices she made.
This author shows a lot of promise and will be one to watch.