Perfectly Undone

Finished May 15

Perfectly Undone by Jamie Raintree

Set in Portland, Oregon, this is a story of self-awareness and dealing with trauma from the past. The main character, Dylan Michels has worked hard to get where she is, a ob/gyn doctor at the Women's Clinic. She has a deep desire to do research in the area of early detection of pregnancy issues, like ectopic pregnancies. Her older sister Abby died from an undiagnosed ectopic pregnancy when she was a teen, and this is a big part of what drives her. 

Dylan lives with her partner Cooper, a pediatrician, and they had long planned to marry. As the book opens, Cooper is proposing, but Dylan finds herself unable to commit. As the two go through weeks of bad communication, it becomes clear that there is a secret about Dylan and her sister that lie at the heart of Dylan's inability to choose happiness. 

I found Dylan interesting. In the scenes in the clinic and hospital, it is clear that she is respected by her fellow doctors and the other staff. She is a good doctor, focused on her patients and their concerns. Her buried trauma around her sister has led her to where she is, but also left her unable to move on. 

None of the other characters here have the depth of Dylan. Whether it is Cooper, the nurse Enrique, Dylan's boss Vanessa, patients like Erika, or her friend Megan, we don't see enough of them to get a real sense of them as people. 

There is an interesting plotline of the landscaping that Cooper has given Dylan as a gift. As the landscape architect Reese creates the garden from Dylan's short burst of input, we see how it relates to Dylan as well. 

If We Had Known

Finished January 22

If We Had Known by Elise Juska

This novel is set around a shooting in a small college town in Maine. The shooting occurs in a mall and the shooter is a recent graduate of the college. Maggie Daley recognizes the name of the shooter, Nathan Dugan, as a former student. She teaches English composition a required course that many of her fellow teachers resented because of the challenge of teaching students who didn't want to take English. But Maggie is an enthusiastic teacher who loved the challenge. The students wrote papers, shared them in class, and talked about them with each other. In many cases the topics were deeply personal and the experience was a meaningful one in their lives. Maggie loves her job and really enjoys getting the students enthused about writing about something important to them. After Maggie's marriage ended she begin seeing Richard, another teacher at the college, but he still lives with his wife even though he says their marriage is over. Because he is worried about his wife's mental health, he and Maggie have kept their relationship secret. 

While Maggie is at the center of the story, she is not the only voice here. Another is the voice of her daughter Anna, who is just about to leave for college herself. Maggie and her husband Tom divorced and Anna hasn't been taking it well. Anna has a history of anxiety issues that began a few years ago and that this event is somewhat triggering for. As Anna leaves home, and adjusts to college life, she finds a good friend in her roommate, but soon is triggered in another way by someone new in her life and finds herself struggling again.

A third voice in the story is Suzanne, Richard's wife, who can see that Richard is pulling away from her and suspects that he is having an affair. She had a brief contact with one of the shooting victims and finds herself reacting to the news with a lot of emotion. We see as she discovers who Richard is seeing and takes some action against Maggie. 

Another voice in this book is Luke Finch, who was in Maggie's class at the same time as Nathan. For some reason he doesn't fully understand himself, Luke posts on Facebook about his memories of Nathan and then is taken aback when the post goes viral. People start responding to it from all over, and Luke has a variety of reactions to it. Luke is living at home, working in a donut shop and dreaming of a different life. His sudden fame has him reacting, but not always in a way that is helpful for him.

As these four people try to move on with their lives, but find themselves connected in a variety of ways, we see how this terrible event has changed their circumstance so their lives won't be the same. 

Maggie struggles to figure out whether she should have or could have noticed that this young man would do something so awful and tried to help him. She isn't sure of her ability to connect with the students anymore and we see her become more and more isolated. With Anna at college, she is alone, and she cuts off most of the world. 

This is a book that looks at our connectedness to others and what our responsibility to each other is in a larger way. These four people react in different ways, some of them harmful to others, some harmful to themselves, as they try to figure out how to move forward from in their own lives. 

A gripping story. 

Kapo

Finished December 17

Kapo by Aleksandar Tišma, translated by Richard Williams, Afterword by David Rieff

This novel has a central character who is hiding his past. Lamian was born to Jewish parents, but baptised in an attempt to avoid prejudicial treatment. He went away from his small town to university in the city, and was drafted into the Yugoslav army. That was followed by his taking on another identity as he tried to return home, but he was captured by the Germans and sent to Auschwitz, where he survived by catering to the officers and becoming a kapo. He is haunted by a woman that he took advantage of, one of many that he provided with food and other "gifts" for sexual favours. It was only after his encounter with her that he realized that she was a Jew like him, but one labeled with the yellow star. Because he had assumed another identity, he was a secret Jew.

After the war, he came back to Yugoslavia, resumed his old name, and hid his WWII actions, becoming a government administrator. He now lives in the Bosnian town of Banja Luka, and lives a respectable quiet life. When he sees a name in the paper, one of the woman who he knew from the camp, he is haunted by the possibility of discovery. This is the story of how he reacted, how he got to where he is now, and his feelings around it all.

He has guilt, fear, and a desire to be both seen for himself, and to bury his own past. This is a very intense, brooding book, and is the third book in what is known as his Novi Sad trilogy. It is the saddest of the three, a tale of a man who is both a victim and a terrorizer. 

Despite its sad nature, it drew me in, wanting to see what happened to this man who was so conflicted and who had lived his life alone, damaged by his past.

All I Did Was Shoot My Man

Finished October 2

All I Did Was Shoot My Man by Walter Mosley

This is the 4th book in the Leonid McGill series. Set in New York City, Leonid is a former criminal who has gone legitimate (mostly), works as a private investigator, and one of the things he does is try to rectify some of the things he did in his earlier life. 

As this book begins he is fighting a low-grade fever and waiting to meet a bus carrying women released from prison, specifically to meet Zella Grisham. Eight years earlier, Zella came home early from work one day due to feeling ill. She walked in on her boyfriend Harry Tangelo in bed with her best friend Minnie Lesser. She reached for the gun in the top drawer of her dresser and shot Harry, injuring him. She was in a disassociated state at the time and doesn't actually remember doing it, but doesn't deny it. Interestingly, both Harry and Minnie had their own apartments, so having their assignation in her place seems like it was just asking to be discovered. The judge was being inclined to go light on Zella given the circumstances until an anonymous tip came in saying that information related to a large theft of money would be found in her storage locker. Zella was given several years in jail, and made life choices based on her sentence.

McGill was involved in the placement of that evidence (something he had done in other circumstances as well) and feels guilt over how it affected her life. He was able to get the evidence reexamined and get that case against her dropped and get her out of jail. He has also found her a place to live and a job. But all of these actions have awakened the guilty of that crime and it seems like many people associated with that crime have been killed and tortured. As McGill tries to protect Zella, and get to the bottom of the case, it takes him to the highest levels of the company the crime was committed against, and back to his own past. 

McGill is also facing issues in his personal life, starting to search for his father who he has recently learned is alive, dealing with his oldest son's first serious relationship, and sorting out his feelings about his wife and a former lover. His wife Katrina is showing behavioural changes and he is worried about this change.

His younger son Twill is now working for him, and showing himself to be very much like his father in terms of personality and judgement. When McGill has Twill involved in a case, Twill shows initiative in making his own decisions and going beyond his remit. 

This is the second book that I've read in the series, and I find McGill to be an interesting and complex character. He is smart and quick to react to a situation. This book lets us see more of his family and the relationships between the members of that family as well as some of his associates. Mosley is a fantastic writer and I've loved everything I've read of his.

Heart of Palm

Finished June 5

Heart of Palm by Laura Lee Smith

This book takes place in a small town called Utina along the Intercoastal in Florida.The story is set around one family, the Bravo family. Years before, a chance encounter between Dean Bravo and Arla Bolton led to their marriage and four children. The Bravo family already had a reputation, but Arla was in love and couldn't be swayed by her parents class concerns. 

The story is set decades later, after a tragedy has come to the family and years after Dean has left. After he left Arla bought a restaurant and her son Frank manages it. Daughter Sofia cleans it to a shine every day before it opens, and still lives at home with her mother. Carson has a career in the financial services industry and lives not far away with his wife Elizabeth and daughter Bell, but things are going wrong in both his professional and personal life.

With developers suddenly interested in both the family home, Aberdeen, and the restaurant, the family must come together and decide what is the best decision for the future. 

There are many connections between the different characters, and different kinds of love. There is rivalry and guilt, and regret. There are dreams that have been set aside, and dreams lost forever. This novel really brings you into the intricacies of this family, and the small town that they are a part of. We see the back story of how they got to where they are, and some of the things that led to their decisions. The town is gentrifying, and things are changing, and the family must come to decisions both as a unit, and as individuals. 

I loved this story and how we gradually got to know the different members of the family, seeing how they felt and what their individual story was as well as how they fit into both their family and their community. 

How a Woman Becomes a Lake

Finished May 20

How a Woman Becomes a Lake by Marjorie Celona

This novel about a woman who disappears on New Year's Day, and the subsequent ramifications of that disappearance is haunting. Vera Gusev had gone out that morning with her dog, to walk by the lake. But something different happened. She used the phone in one of the parking lots there to call the police, saying that she'd found a boy, lost. Then she cried out and left the phone. 

This story begins with the police officer, Lewis, as he finds her car, engine running and doors open, and her dog, but no sign of her. 

A man, Leo, and his two young sons, Jesse, ten, and Dmitri, six, also went to the lake that morning. Leo wanted to write resolutions on paper and make boats to set off on the lake. Leo and his wife Evelina had recently separated, and Leo has taken the boys for this outing this morning. Evelina is worried about how long they've been gone and has called around considering accidents and other such reasons. 

Last night Vera and her husband Denny had an argument, and Denny had gone to see the fireworks alone and then drunk too much. When he awakens to an empty house, he doesn't worry right away, not knowing for sure exactly when his wife left on her outing, but is uneasy about her absence and regretful of their fight. Things haven't been going well lately and he is worried about their relationship, but loves her.

As we learn more about these characters, their motivations, and their worries, we see how their lives intersect, and how they deal with this situation in different ways. We gradually learn what really happened that day, and what the long-term implications are.

I found Vera's viewpoint very interesting, in a cosmic way. This is a story of random encounters that changed people's lives. 

Ever After

Finished October 21

Ever After by Olivia Vieweg, translated by the author

This teen graphic novel takes place in a dystopian future. Vivi and Eva are the two main characters here, both teens. They start out their story separately in the German town of Weimar. Vivi has been in an institution, but we are unclear on its nature. There seem to be both physical and mental aspects to the treatments given there, and it seems like Vivi has been a pet of the head of the institution. Vivi is struggling with her emotions after the death of her younger sister, which she feels guilt over. Eva has been a leader of a group tasked with guarding the city's perimeter, but she is also struggling with her feelings, and now is trying to fight against a transformation that she is afraid of. 

When Vivi escapes from her institution and is hiding from people looking for her, she boards a supply train to another city, but the doors suddenly close, trapping her on the unmanned train. She finds Eva, whom she'd had a brief encounter with earlier, also on the train. 

When the train breaks down between the cities, the girls have to deal with the decision of whether to wait for help or strike out on their own through unknown and potentially dangerous territory. There are many things that will challenge them, from high heat levels to groups of wandering zombies, as well as their own feelings as they continue their struggle into the future. 

March

Finished February 17
March by Geraldine Brooks

I've had this one on my shelf for a while, and finally got to it. This book was inspired by Little Women and imagines the story of their father, Mr. March. As the book begins, March is embedded with Union troops as a chaplain, involved in a battle that isn't going well. Following the battle, as he makes his way to a plantation house taken over by troops, he realizes that he has been there before as a young man, when he worked as a peddler. It was here that he first came face to face with the realities of slavery.
The story mostly stays in the time of the Civil War, but it also wanders back to his days as a peddler, his first meeting with Marmee, and the early days of their marriage, outlining how he gradually became the man he is now, and how he came to be where he is.
I found it interesting to see both him and Marmee as more complex characters than they appear in the stories of their daughters.
Brooks based March partly on Louisa May Alcott's father Bronson, but also on other historical figures and using other historical information, particularly around the Civil War, which Bronson did not serve in.
My copy also has an interview with Brooks, and a reading guide for the book.

Beyond Fate

Finished August 1
Beyond Fate: 2002 Massey Lectures by Margaret Visser

I thoroughly enjoyed this series of five lectures, which explored not only the idea of fate, but went far beyond that, touching on many other ideas including honour and goodness, guilt and shame, revenge and payment, forgiveness and trust. She uses examples from daily life and from history, and shows how the idea of fate has developed and changed over time. This is a series that really made me think about a lot of things including cultural differences.
I liked that each lecture fit my commute almost perfectly allowing me the time to think about the ideas presented before moving on to the next lecture.
There is insight and humour here and a lot of stuff to think about.

Keep Quiet

Finished November 17
Keep Quiet by Lisa Scottoline, read by Ron Livingston

In this novel we have the point of view of Jake Buckman. Jake is a financial planner, and has his own business, one he developed a few years back when he lost his job. He's doing well, but he's spent a lot of time focusing on his work and no longer has a close relationship with his son Ryan. Ryan is on his high school basketball team, and also a good academic student. Jake's wife Pam is a judge, a self-described good girl, and the one who keeps her family on track. She has been encouraging Jake to make efforts to get closer to Ryan and so Jake is picking Ryan up at the local movie theatre where he has seen a movie with his friends.
Ryan has had his learner's permit for some time and begs Jake to let him drive the car when they get to a quiet road in an industrial area. Jake is reluctant as he knows the time of night means it is outside the rules for Ryan to drive, but gives in hoping to make a connection to his son.
But, distracted by their animated conversation, Ryan looks away from the road for seconds on a blind curve and all of their lives are changed forever. At first, although horrified, Jake tries to do the right thing in the circumstances, but then Ryan reveals another piece of information that causes Jake to make a terrible decision that he thinks will protect his son.
As Ryan and Jake try to cover up what happened that night and deal with their emotions around this terrible incident, their secret widens.
This is a story of well-meaning parents, trying to do the best by their kids, but reacting with emotions rather than thought. A story of the nature of guilt. A story of family dynamics and the dangers of the modern world.
I found the resolution to be a bit too nicely worked out and thus felt manipulated. Not one of her better reads for me. Not a bad read by any means, but just not one of her best.
I have seldom discussed the reader in audiobooks, a failing I will be trying to address more going forward. Here I found Livingston's reading too lacking in emotion for me, a bit flat. He read clearly and matter-of-factly, but his reading didn't add to the story in any way. It was right that it was a male reader given the point of view, but felt too controlled.
The cover art also leaves something to be desired, not reflecting the relationships between the family as described in the book at all. Even the height of the woman, presumably meant to be Pam, in relation to the man, presumably Jake, isn't right. Minor points perhaps, but I like to see a cover that gives an accurate feel for the book I'm reading.

Serious Things

Finished November 8
Serious Things by Gregory Norminton

This novel jumps back and forth between two time periods, In the current time, Bruno Jackson is thirty-one, working for the Ministry of Transportation on road toll pricing policy. He is overweight, single, gay, and depressed. When he encounters his estranged best friend from his boarding school days, the guilt and sadness that he has been carrying for years are reawakened in him, and have devastating consequences.
In the early 1990s, when Bruno lived with his parents in Malaysia. As he entered high school, his parents decided to send him to a good boarding school in England to better prepare him for university. He is one of the few boys there who is a British expatriate, meaning that he isn't familiar with the same cultural knowledge as his peers. He is also shy, academically-inclined, and not athletic. He befriends another boy Anthony Blunden, whom he has a secret crush on. He and Anthony spend a lot of time together at school, but Anthony can often be cruel, and thoughtless in terms of how he treats Bruno. Both boys are taken under the wing of a new teacher at the school, Mr. Bridge, who shares his love of literature with the boys, bringing them for visits to his home, and encouraging their reading beyond the syllabus.
As the book jumps back and forth between "Now" and "Then", we gradually learn the story of Bruno's boarding school days, his friendship with Anthony, and the circumstances that drove Bruno to the life he is now living.
This is not a happy book, but it is a book that shows the power of influence and guilt. This would be a very good book for book clubs, offering much for discussion.

The Great and Calamitous Tale of Johan Thoms

Finished October 7
The Great and Calamitous Tale of Johan Thoms: How One Man Scorched the Twentieth Century but Didn't Mean To by Ian Thornton

This epic tale follows the life of Johan Thoms, as told by the son of a man that he told it to years later. Johan was born in the village of Argona, near Sarajevo. He was injured as a child and afterward taken on as a protege by Count Kaunitz, the man whose estate he was injured on. Johan developed a love for chess during his time recovering and showed an ability to converse with those from all backgrounds. He went on to study at the University of Sarajevo and here developed a close relationship with the Count, a strong friendship with the son of the American Ambassador, as well as a deep love affair with a visiting American woman, Lorelei Ribeiro. The Count was able to arrange for his to get  work, and he ends up through a series of circumstances being assigned as the chauffeur for Franz Ferdinand and his wife as they visit the city. Distracted by thoughts of Lorelei, Johan takes a wrong turn, and Franz Ferdinand and his wife are killed. Johan feels the weight of immense guilt and flees blindly, gradually heading west.
It is Johan's deep belief that he is responsible for all the destruction of World War I and the subsequent historical deaths that followed. It is this deep belief that drives his life and separates him from his love.
Johan finds a travelling companion in a young boy, Cicero, that he befriends in a hospital and the two of them travel on to Italy, and then further, staying for a long time in a small seaside village in Portugal and starting a chess club for youngsters called the Young Hooligans. Later their travels take them to Cadiz, and then to England, and eventually back to Argona.
Throughout the story, Johan finds himself looked after kindly by nurses many times and he sees them as angels in his life.
This story is complex and often sad, but also moving and startling at times. The writing is wonderful. Here is an example from when young Johan tells his father that he has determined that he is an atheist and his father describes his view of religion. "It's like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there, but still finding the thing."
Well worth reading.