By the Light of the Crescent Moon

Finished August 26

By the Light of the Crescent Moon by Ailsa Keppie

This memoir is one that is sometimes uncomfortable to read as Ailsa gives up her autonomy and even her identity to the man she falls in love with. Her story is an extreme version of one many women have, where they try to become what someone else expects them to be, and lose themselves in the process. The author didn't feel loved growing up, and her need for love was thus easily exploited by a handsome man who focused on her, telling her how lucky she was to be chosen by him. She gives us some idea of her life before meeting him, showing that she had explored her sexuality to some extent, but hadn't had a real relationship before Said. Ailsa was a successful circus performer, skilled in her trade, and with other entertainment related skills as well. 

Once they started living together, she made the decision to become Muslim, and this decision process isn't explained here, but her main story begins after she has converted and started to dress in more conservative Muslim clothing, and stop contact with most of her previous friends. Seeing how she became isolated and found new friends and acquaintances in the same situation as herself and grew ever more conservative in her dress and activities really exemplified her desire to please her now husband. 

Her visit to her family in Nova Scotia shortly after becoming married described her husband's charm and the persona he presented publicly, different from the one he sometimes showed her. Said comes across as a selfish and self-centered man, focused on his own needs and pleasures. He changes Ailsa's name to a Moroccan one that is similar and she complies, he celebrates her moves to more intense religious behaviours as rewards for himself, he refuses to help her with looking after the house or with the children they have as he wants her not to become dependent in case he must go away to work, but he doesn't provide for her financially or emotionally. He is a taker, not a partner. 

Ailsa knows there is something wrong with their relationship even as she submits to him more and more, and it is only when he suggests a way for her to get out of her situation (although no help in doing it) that she breaks free.

This is a story of a dysfunctional relationship by a woman whose lack of self esteem allowed her to fall further and further away from her true self. There are glimmers from time to time as she makes a connection or takes an action, but it is a long time before she can connect with her own wants and needs again. 

At times this book was difficult to read as Ailsa abased herself, but it was satisfying to see her finally recognize that this relationship was not one of love at all and find a way out for herself. I hope she finds strength in her self as she moves into the future without becoming dependent again.

The Language of Secrets

Finished June 12
The Language of Secrets by Ausma Zehanat Khan

This is the second novel in the series featuring Detective Esa Khattak and his partner Rachel Getty. Here Khattak has been called in by the RCMP's INSET team, the national security team. INSET has been investigating a group they believe to be planning an attack on a number of public targets within the Toronto area, and their inside man has been murdered. Khattak is asked to head the murder investigation in such a way as to not reveal INSET's investigation. The dead man, Mohsin Dar, is an estranged friend of Khattak's, and he is determined to investigate fully while staying within his parameters.
The man he is to report to within INSET, his old team, is a man who resents Khattak's successes, and who makes no secret of his feelings. As Khattak and Getty move forward with the investigation, Getty in an undercover role, they learn that Khattak has been involved in ways they didn't expect. Getty is worried about the civilians that may be hurt if things go badly, and also increasingly aware of the prejudices against Khattak.
As with her first book, The Unquiet Dead, this book explores the diversity of culture within religion, and the ways in which that culture expresses itself, in language such as poetry, and in interpretation of language in ways of peace and of revenge. Khan's experience as a human rights lawyer informs her writing and makes the mystery more complex.
I also enjoy the way personal lives of the characters come into it, with both Getty's and Khattak's families, Getty's love of hockey, and Khattak's of poetry. I look forward to more books in this series.

Infidel

Finished October 26
Infidel: My Life by Ayaan Hirsi Ali

I've had this sitting on my shelf for a while, and finally chose it to read recently. Ayaan tells the story of her life from her birth to the time of this book's publication. Her story is open and unapologetic. She acknowledges her actions and her mindset at different points in her life.
Her story is a wonderful example of the power of education to enlighten. Ayaan was always eager to learn, from her early questions about Allah and the Quran, to her later appetite for history, philosophy, and political theory.
She was the oldest daughter of a second wife of a man powerful in his own clan and country, and was brought up with the knowledge and culture of clans at the center of her life. As she and her family moved around, the influence of religion in her life grew stronger, and her grandmother forced her and her younger sister to submit to one of the most heinous of cultural rites, female circumcision. Within her culture, this was seen as the correct way for females to be.
Because of her father's role in rebellion against the Somalian government, she and her family lived in a variety of countries, Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia, and Kenya, as well as her native Somalia, and she was exposed to ways of life other than those of her family.
The insistence by her father to have her submit to an arranged marriage against her will, to a man she didn't know brought her to Europe, and her own independent spirit led her to seize the opportunity to escape her planned life for one of her own choosing.
Her life in the Netherlands brought her the education she so desired, and that caused her to examine the ideas that she had been taught and look at them with reason rather than faith. Once acts of Muslim terrorism and the increase in extremist Islam grew, she also found the voice to speak out against the way Islam treated women, and the way the word of the Quran was taken without any acknowledge of the world's progress in terms of knowledge and human rights.
Ayaan is a woman who has come a long way from her roots, a woman who has taken the opportunities that life has given her and grabbed them, and who speaks reasonably and openly about the injustices that she sees in the world.
This is a very enlightening autobiography.

Desperately Seeking Paradise

Finished August 27
Desperately Seeking Paradise: Journeys of a Sceptical Muslim by Ziauddin Sardar

This memoir chronicles Sardar's journey to find his path as a Muslim, exploring different paths and the history behind them as he examines his own beliefs. It begins when he is a university student and continues through to 2004 when the book was first published. As he explores he also explains the different belief paths, where they came from, who espouses them now, and why he accepts or rejects them.
I learned a lot about Islam, about beliefs and histories, and about what Sardar sees as issues for today's Muslims. An eye-opening read.

Children of the Jacaranda Tree

Finished June 15
Children of the Jacaranda Tree by Sahar Delijani

This is the first novel by Sahar Delijani and draws from her own family history.
Azar and Ismael are taken to Evin prison when Azar is pregnant with their daughter. Neda is born while her mother is in prison. Parisa and her husband were eating dinner with their son Omid when the police came for them. Later, Parisa's sister Leila came for him, finding Omid sitting at the table surrounded by the violence of a search of the apartment. Omid's sister Sara was also born while Parisa was in prison. Their cousin Forugh also came to life with Leila and her parents after her birth. Her parents, Simin and Behrouz, Ismael's younger brother, were also in prison. There are many other children whose parents were imprisoned following the revolution; some were reunited, and other' parents never came out of Evin.
This is a novel not just of those times, the young people who felt betrayed after the revolution and were imprisoned for their passionate and dedicated belief in their country's future, but also of their children. Children who lost those early years with their parents; children who lost one or both parents entirely. Children who knew the truth of their history; children who were protected from the secrets of their parents' youth. Children who grew up in Iran; children whose parents took them out of their country in hopes of a better future. Children who now find themselves either participating in or observing another rebellion against the government. This is a story of Iran, its history, and its people.
I was able to meet Sahar Delijani and learn from her the makings of this story. Her own parents were imprisoned and she drew on the facts of their experiences and the experiences of other relatives and friends, but chose to tell her own story of the inner lives of those imprisoned. This is a story of two generations that love their country passionately, but don't always feel that their country is seen by the rest of the world as they see it.

Nine Parts of Desire

Finished June 21
Nine Parts of Desire: The Hidden World of Islamic Women by Geraldine Brooks
This has been my "purse book" for the last few weeks, one I read waiting in line, waiting for appointments, and when eating lunch out alone. I think reading it slowly like I did gave me time to absorb and ponder the book. 
Brooks was a prize-winning foreign correspondent for the Wall Street Journal, who spent six years covering the Middle East. Her gender allowed her access to people and situations that male journalists could not, and inspired this book. She tells of experiences in many Islamic countries and made connections with women in these different communities. She tells of prejudices, opportunities, and contradictions.
An eye-opening book on a world that is complex and important to the world today. Brooks went in with a respectful attitude and a willingness to listen and try to understand the realities of these women's lives. She probed for their reasons for the choices they made, the societal pressures they experienced, and observed how men and women interacted in these societies.
A great read.