Familiar

Finished April 29

Familiar by J. Robert Lennon

I've had this book for a few years, and finally was moved to read it. It is a rather odd book, but compelling. I got this book as part of a book subscription series from Powell's in Portland, Oregon, and it a special edition, signed by the author and with a little leaflet that gives information on both the book and the author and has an interview the bookstore did with him. This book also contains discussion questions should you choose to read it as a book club. 

The main character, Elisa Brown, is driving home from Wisconsin to New York, a trip she makes annually to visit the grave of her younger son Silas who died in an accident at the age of fifteen. As she drives, she thinks and ponders the crack in her windshield, and lets her mind go where it will. She is partway through Ohio when suddenly things change. 

The crack in the windshield is gone. Her car window is closed, her clothes are different. She realizes that the car is a different car. She pulls over on the shoulder and looks around the vehicle. She sees a binder for a conference. When she looks inside there are receipts and confirmations, and she finds her name and job title. This is not the job she has. Her purse is the same, but there is a different phone. She finds herself paying close attention to things. She isn't panicking or scared, but she is very aware. When her phone rings and it is her husband she answers, worried something might be wrong, either with him or with their other son Sam. But he is just checking that she's on the road and he sounds sweet. This scares her, because that isn't something he's ever been. 

As Elisa gets back home, and adjusts to her husband, her job, her life, and that fact that both of her sons are still alive, she looks for answers. What happened? 

This is a book that will keep you reading, looking for answers alongside Elisa. It is a book that is disturbing and completely surprising. 

Maureen

Finished December 2

Maureen by Rachel Joyce

This is the third and last in the series that started with The Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, and continued with The Love Song of Miss Queenie Hennessy. This is the story of Maureen, Harold's wife, and takes place a few years after his story does. Maureen is still struggling with how to deal with her grief and the feelings she has around the loss of her son. Maureen and Harold have made their peace with each other and grown closer, but they are both aware of her struggle. Maureen has heard about the garden that Queenie created and is having trouble understanding it. She's seen pictures, but they haven't helped her understand. Harold and her have discussed her need to see for herself this place that holds a piece of her life, and one night when she can't sleep, she decides to go. 

This is story of her journey, one that is both physical and emotional. It is a shorter book than the others, but goes deep into Maureen's mind, showing us how she thinks, and how she has used her stern facade to protect herself. It also gives us insight into other things that happened along the way in her struggle and how they've brought her to a more isolated life. 

It took me some time to read this novel as I wanted to sit with it at times and reflect on what it was saying and where it was taking me. This is a beautiful book, and a fitting conclusion to this story. 

This Is The Night Our House Will Catch Fire

Finished September 3

This Is The Night Our House Will Catch Fire: a Memoir by Nick Flynn

This memoir began with Flynn telling stories of his childhood to his young daughter. One story was about the night the first house his mother owned caught fire when he was seven years old. It was across the street from the fire station, and it had significant asbestos content, so although heavily damaged, it didn't burn down. Other stories are about the old man who lived nearby, the fear he instilled and the odd collections of things he had. He talks about the saltmarsh he crossed to get to school, and the world of books he lived in.

Alongside these stories to his daughter he talks about the trips he made back to his hometown with her, his marriage and the insecurities and communication issues that affect it, and his mother's death by suicide. 

The chapters here are short and dreamlike, as he tries to piece together his past and make sense of what are memories and what has been imagined. He examines how that fiery night has stayed with him and still affects him in many ways. The writing caught me and held me to the story, wanting to see what he learned, how he moved forward following his exposure of the past and the secrets he held onto. 

Little Big Love

Finished July 7

Little Big Love by Katy Regan

This novel is told in three voices: Zac Hutchinson, who is ten years old; his mother Juliet; and his grandfather Mick. A few months before Zac is turning eleven, he witnesses his mom at the end of a disappointing date, the first date she's had in a long time. That night, she makes a surprising confession to him, one that she doesn't remember making the next day, but that impels him on a mission that he was already thinking of. That mission is to locate his father, Liam Jones. Liam was supposedly the love of Juliet's life, but has not tried to stay in touch with her or be part of Zac's life. 

Zac's grandmother talks about what a bad person he was, really demonizing him, and his grandfather seems to agree. Zac spends a couple of days a week at his grandparents after school, bonding with his grandmother through baking and with his grandfather with nature documentaries. 

When Zac was just a few weeks old, his uncle Jamie died in an accident, but the whole truth of that night has yet to emerge for everyone. Zac himself has been told one story, and he has been focused on his similarities to his uncle, such as their common interest in cooking creatively. 

Zac's best friend Teagan is his co-conspirator in his mission and she has her own issues, living in a damp apartment, struggling with asthma, and missing her own dad who has remarried and seems to want little to do with her anymore. 

Zac is also struggling with being bullied due to his weight. And soon after Juliet's disastrous date, Juliet has her eyes opened to this struggle.

The two kids are great characters, smart and creative, and they really do their best to follow up every clue in their search for Liam. Juliet is a good mom, who is struggling herself with the loss of Liam, the responsibility of raising a child on her own, and her own self esteem issues. But she takes Zac's situation seriously and works to make healthier decisions going forward. 

Mick is a recovering alcoholic, who started his journey to sobriety a few months before Zac was born, and has always felt inferior to his wife. He struggles with the choices he has made, and it is only toward the end of the book that we see how his self esteem and feelings of precariousness in his relationships made the situation what it is now. 

This is a book that is both uplifting and heartbreaking, but ultimately a human story. 

What She Knew

Finished January 5
What She Knew by Gilly MacMillan

This suspense novel is a parent's nightmare. Rachel Jenner is walking with her son Ben and his puppy on the wood trails near their home, when he asks if he can run ahead to the playground area. It's not far, and she's been trying to support the 8-year-old in different ways after the breakdown of her marriage, so she agrees. But when she gets to the playground, neither he nor the dog are there. She calls and backtracks and panics and finds help in the parking lot with another parent she knows and people immediately start a search as she contacts the police and then her ex-husband. But Ben isn't found. 

The book is told from three perspectives. One is Rachel's, one if the policeman put in charge of the case, and one is from a psychologist working with the young policeman on his issues following the case. 

Rachel is supported by her older sister, who drops everything to come help, and by a friend who works in journalism (although not news-focused). She also comes together in a new way with her ex-husband, a pediatric surgeon, and his new wife. As she goes over her steps on that day and in the last few months, following her divorce, she also must deal with the guilt of being the one that let him stretch his wings when this terrible thing happened. 

There are also outside judgements that influence the situation. A blog insinuating Rachel's guilt and more starts up, and every aspect of her life and behaviour is questioned, even some that she wasn't aware of before. This situations makes her question who she can trust.

For Jim, the police officer, a year after the case, he is a good cop with a lot of issues. He feels guilt for not resolving the case quickly and positively, for missing subtle clues he feels he should have caught, for following leads that turned out to be dead ends, for the actions of other police he trusted. Jim has insomnia and it and the feelings he has are affecting his work, to the extent that he is compelled to see the psychologist and talk about what is going on with him, something he is resistant to do. 

The psychologist's notes from their meetings with Jim are the third point of view. They contain not only the transcript of the meetings, but also observations on Jim's attitude and nonverbal behaviours. 

This book is a tense read, as we bounce back and forth between Jim's story, his issues a year later, and Rachel's anguish as she waits for word about her son, desperately trying to help in whatever way she can.

We see how our lives can distract us from the current moment, how easy it is for people to judge those they don't know, how trust can be broken so easily and gained with much difficulty. how our views of those around us don't always show us the whole picture. An engrossing read. 

Mrs. Saint and the Defectives

Finished September 16
Mrs. Saint and the Defectives by Julie Lawson Timmer, performed by Elizabeth Wiley

A novel of a new start. Markie is starting her life over, after divorcing her husband following a very public outing of his infidelity. She'd worked at the private school her teenage son Jesse attended, and the infidelity had involved one of her co-workers as well as some of the other mothers. His deception has also involved emptying their bank accounts with little to show for it. Her parents had been somewhat supportive, but also extremely judgemental, and she couldn't stomach staying with them any longer than she had to, nor subjecting Jesse to their odd parenting style.
So, Markie found a job reviewing insurance claims that she could do from home, allowing her to avoid being around other people as much as possible, and found a smaller house that she could afford on her new smaller income. Jesse has to start a new school, and not a private one this time.
As she moved into her new home, she is unexpectedly approached by a neighbour, Mrs. Saint, who has a couple of men move the majority of Markie's belongings into the house, allowing her to move in quickly and return the rented truck on time. Markie is thankful, but also a bit taken aback by how much the woman seems to be commandeering things.
As Markie settles in, allowing her guilt over not noticing her husband's betrayal sooner to give Jesse rather more leeway than is wise, she continues to try to keep her meddlesome neighbour at bay, with limited success.
Markie is going through a difficult time, and she is struggling with all her relationships: family, work, and now neighbours. It takes time for her to find her footing, and determine what she needs to do to move forward. As she gets to know Mrs. Saint and the variety of people who seems to be recipients of Mrs. Saint's helpfulness, she learns that judging on appearances can be a mistake.
I really enjoyed this book.

Lying in Wait

Finished March 19
Lying in Wait by Liz Nugent

This psychological suspense novel starts with a crime, the murder of a young woman, but only gradually reveals the motive as we get deeper and deeper into the book. The viewpoint alternates between a few characters. Lydia Fitzsimons is a middle aged woman, who I understood had issues right from the start. She seems a bit detached from the people around her, in her own little world. But she's definitely not stupid, as some of her choices show.
Laurence is her only son, and as the book begins, he is in high school. He's a young man who doesn't fit in well with his peers, and has no real friends. He's overweight, and can be both perceptive and disingenuous. When he does finally make a friend, he chooses someone who is also unpopular, but for very different reasons.
Karen Doyle is a woman raised in very different circumstances. Her family didn't have much, but she was close to her older sister Annie, the rebellious one in the family, and knew her parents cared about her, even if they weren't demonstrative about it.
The two families are drawn together, because the woman that either Lydia or her husband Andrew killed (you're never really quite sure whose action was the final one) was Karen's sister Annie.
As the story develops and time passes, we see the characters in different ways, and I changed how I felt about them as the story unfolded.
An interesting read.

The Good Girl

Finished January 7
The Good Girl by Mary Kubica, read by Lindy Nettleton, Johnny Heller, Tom Taylorson, and Andi Arndt

This novel has several narrators, and jumps back and forth between two time periods, identified as "before" and "after." Eve Dennett is married to a judge, and her younger daughter Mia was kidnapped in the before portion of this story. In the after portion, Mia is home, but has lost her memory. Eve tells us how she reacted to Mia's disappearance, the worry for her daughter's safety, and the loneliness she feels as her husband reacts very differently to the situation.
Another narrator is Gabe Hoffman, the detective assigned to the case. Gabe doesn't think much of the judge and his cold attitude towards his daughter's disappearance. He is drawn to Eve, partly through sympathy for her situation and partly as a man. As he sees her often to update her on the case, he sometimes crosses the line from professional to personal, not only with Eve, but at other points in his investigation where he shows his caring side for the people he encounters. The third main narrator is Colin Thatcher, the man who kidnapped Mia. The situation is more complex than that sounds because Colin's motives are both personal and altruistic, and the kidnapping has layers to it that are gradually revealed. The last narrator is Mia herself, but only in a limited fashion.
This is a story of parents and children, of love and control, of lies and truths. The title speaks to this as well. Is Mia the good girl, or is she the rebel? Is she the art teacher dedicated to bringing out the best in her students, or the wild child leading a dangerous life? Every character in this book has potential for good and bad, and things aren't always as they seem.

I Curse the River of Time

Finished February 16
I Curse the River of Time by Per Petterson, translated from the Norwegian by Charlotte Barslund with Per Petterson

This novel is in 1989. The barriers are falling between Eastern and Western Europe, and Arvid Jansen, in his late thirties is in the early stages of a divorce. His mother has just been diagnosed with stomach cancer and has gone back to the land of her youth, Jutland in Denmark, before facing treatment. Arvid chases after her, looking to reconnect with the mother he once had a special relationship with, but has lost over the years.
The story takes place over only a few days, but Arvid's recollections keep taking him into the past. As a child, he was differentiated from his siblings by his physical appearance, looking more like his father than any of his brothers. As a young man with a promising university degree ahead of him, he chose a different route that estranged him from his mother. His idealogical loyalty to the working class led him to reject the opportunities his parents' hard work offered him. The relationship he began shortly after this is a problematic one right from the start.
Arvid is a young man struggling with his life, still looking for approval from the parent he feels closer to, but not showing the maturity that would gain him the approval he wants.
A difficult book, with lots of emotion, but also lots of compassion for human weakness. The relationship between this mother and son is a complex one still.

Perfect

Finished August 2
Perfect by Rachel Joyce, read by Paul Rhys

This novel moves back and forth between the summer of 1972 and the present day.
In 1972, two seconds were added to time to adjust for the gradual change in the earth's rotation. When 12-year-old Byron Hemmings learns of this from his friend James, he can't stop thinking about it. When will it happen, how will it affect things. He is terribly worried about it, and obsesses over it. Then, one day, running late for delivering Byron and his younger sister Lucy to school, Byron's mother Diana takes a detour through a street with estate housing, Digby Road, and Byron's obsession and her newly acquired driving skills combine to create a situation that will change all of their lives irrevocably.
At first, only Byron notices, and desperate, he confides in James, who comes up with plans that continue to unfold as more happens, but even when James dictates what Byron should say, Byron realizes that things don't always unfold they way they planned because James didn't predict what the others would say. Byron's strongest feelings are toward his mother,  and this example shows them nicely: He didn’t know how he was going to keep his mother safe. The job seemed too big for one boy alone. There was something about her, something pure and fluid that would not be contained. Byron's need for control and order are beyond his ability to manage real life and things move forward in a sad and seemingly inevitable way. Byron's interactions with his mother, his sister and the little girl Jeannie all show his compassion and tenderness, and his vulnerability. His father is both controlling and distant, both in charge and needy, and Byron can't find the necessary connection to confide in him, even as things deteriorate in Byron's world.
In the present, Jim is adjusting to his new life following the closing of the mental institution that he has spent most of his life in. He works in the cafe of a large store, wiping tables. He lives on the edge of the moors in a camper van. His life is dictated by the rituals that his obsessive-compulsive disorder drives him to do. He has a stutter, possible a result of the electro-shock therapy he was subjected to. He is desperately lonely, but knows his own weaknesses and doesn't believe himself capable of sustaining a relationship. When a coworker, Eileen, captures his attention, he feels a connection with her that he envisions as his one last change to connect with the world. We see how his coworkers begin to see him as a person, one they care about. The writing around Jim and his mental illness is so well done, so empathetic, it is a wonder. I felt Jim's pain and worry. I felt for him, and the desperate way things in his life had led him to where he is.
But this book is also full of humour, and I found myself giggling at some of the action here, like the scene where Jim and Eileen have both used scented products as a way to prepare themselves for a get together.
Joyce's second novel is very different from her first but equally compelling and engrossing. There were times when the voice of Jim reminded me of The Curious Dog in the Night-time, in terms of really feeling the viewpoint of a person with a different outlook. While I listened to this book in audio, I really feel the need to buy a print copy to savour some of the writing. An amazing read.