Goodbye to All That

Finished August 9

Goodbye to All That by Robert Graves

I've had this book for a while and picked it up to meet a reading challenge. This memoir was first published in 1929 and was very controversial for its honest portrayal of the realities of World War I and of the author's personal life. My copy has an epilogue from 1957 that gives an brief overview of his life since then. The epilogue had an interesting Canadian connection as he mentions an officer he'd met during the war was now a Canadian politician. It was just after this was written that Pearson became leader of the Liberal party and later, our 14th prime minister. 

Graves work talks about his early life and growing up in Wales, with influences from his father's Irish side of the family and his mother's German side of the family. The main portion of the book covers his World War I experiences, and they are written almost dispassionately, telling of the horrors of being on the front lines, the violence and conditions of war, and of the friendships formed. Graves had many friends who were also writers and poets, and one of them that appears repeatedly is Siegfried Sassoon, another officer who had some German ancestry. The realities of the war are sometimes hard to read, and unfathomable for me to understand how anyone could have lived through it without psychological damage. 

He also talks about his marriage to Nancy Nicholson, who he first met in April 1916 at a friend's house he visited and who he corresponded with after that. She was just sixteen at the time, and they married when she was eighteen and he was twenty-two. Nancy was an artist and an ardent feminist who wanted a full life. I was surprised to see what an equal marriage it was, with them sharing the parenting of their four children, and him doing the cooking for the household. They struggled financially, with his writing providing their main income. They did go to Cairo for a year where he taught at a university, but he didn't enjoy it and they didn't fit into the expatriate society well. He had both a brother and sister in Cairo at the time, and while they were welcoming, particularly his sister, they didn't have the same outlook on life. 

The title of the book represents his feeling at the end of the time he was writing about. When his marriage to Nancy ended, he left England and lived in Majorca (except for the years of World War II, where he did return to England)

I am really glad I read this book as it offers a glimpse into personal experiences at the time.

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating

Finished November 22

The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elizabeth Tova Bailey

This reflective book has been on my shelves for a long time. A memoir that began when she was bedridden with an undiagnosed illness, and found herself distracted by a snail that came into her room courtesy of a friend who brought it in along with a pot of wild violets. She isn't sure why her friend thought this was a good idea at first, but soon finds herself observing the snail as it goes about its day. She saw that it was nibbling on paper that was located near the pot, and offered it wilted flowers from the vases that visitors had brought. It also eagerly drank from the overflow on the dish below the pot when she watered the violets. When she awoke during the night and listened, she could hear the sound of the snail chewing on its food choice. 

After a few weeks, with the help of a carer, she was able to create a terrarium for it, from a discarded glass aquarium and local plants. A little research allowed her to learn more and she began offering it mushrooms, which it obviously loved. She was able to borrow a more scientific series of books on snails, allowing her to identify what kind of snail it was, and she continued to observe and enjoy.

The snail offered her something calm to focus on, and something to care for. It filled a need that she hadn't realized existed.

I enjoyed learning about snails along with her, and seeing her gradual improvement physically. This was a book that felt best reading slowly, reflecting and returning to after a few days. A pleasure to read. 

Memorial Days

Finished March 2

Memorial Days: A Memoir by Geraldine Brooks

This memoir moves back and forth between two times: one beginning on May 27, 2019, when her husband Tony Horowitz died suddenly; and one beginning in February 2023 when Geraldine went on a solo retreat to a small beach house on Flinders Island in Australia, her home country. 

Tony was on a book tour at the time, after writing a book that required intense research, and a tight deadline. She had met up with him at other points on the tour, but decided not to on this weekend. Their older son was on his way to Australia with his girlfriend, and her younger son was at boarding school. Tony's mom and siblings were at a family get-together in Maine. 

Geraldine was notified of Tony's death through a terse phone call from a hospital. When the follow-up call from the police came, they were, at least, kind. 

Because she was alone and far from where he died, on a holiday weekend where travel was difficult, she felt that she couldn't react the way that she wanted to. She had to hold herself together, and do what needed to be done. It wasn't until the trip she went on nearly four years later that she was able to truly grieve. 

The book moves back and forth between these two times, as she points out flaws in the system that she dealt with, the lack of planning for death she and Tony had done, and the various bureaucratic issues that she had to deal with immediately after her terrible loss. 

Geraldine grew up in Australia, and until she met Tony, an American, had every intention of living there and making her career there. Flinders Island, part of an archipelago between Tasmania and the rest of Australia had drawn her early in her adulthood, and in 2023, she tries to imagine what her life would have been like if she had spent it there instead of where her life took her. 

The beauty of the island, the nature that she describes paints a picture that is both wild and immersive. She watches the ocean, the sky, the land, and its creatures as she comes to terms with her loss and where it leaves her now, facing a future that is different than what she had imagined. 

This is a moving book, one that brought out emotions in me as I read it. She is an author I have read a lot and enjoyed immensely for her beautiful prose. Highly recommended. 

We Loved It All

Finished February 23

We Loved It All: A Memory of Life by Lydia Millet

This is the first nonfiction book by the author and is very hard to classify as it includes so many different things. While Millet has written several works of fiction, she has also had a long career at the Center for Biological Diversity, advocating for wildlife and climate change preparedness. 

This book mixes her personal memories with scientific facts, vignettes of animal and plant interactions with humans, and thoughts about life in general. 

The book is split into three sections, and she works to show our connections to others' experiences, and to life beyond the human. You can feel her emotions around many of these elements. Paragraphs within sections jump from the personal to the other elements, and sometimes feel like an expression of a stream of consciousness, with one thought leading to another. 

There are many things here that reminded me of my own memories of interactions with nature, and that revived knowledge I forgot that I had. There are also times where she taught me something new. This is a book that is hard to rush through, that one needs to sit with, and take time to examine one's reactions and thoughts. 

Miracle Country

Finished September 3

Miracle Country by Kendra Atleework

This memoir draws you in to the author's life in beautiful prose. She grew up in Swall Meadows, a small town north of Bishop, California, in the Eastern Sierra Nevada, which lies between the Sierra Nevadas on the west, and the White Mountains and Inyo Mountains on the east. This is an area where the average annual rainfall is about 5 inches. For decades most of the water from this region has been collected and diverted to Los Angeles, making agriculture in the area extremely difficult. 

The memoir is not told chronologically, but moves around in time. It is separated into five parts: Wind; Wildflowers; Rivers; Moonrise; and Summit. It starts in 2015 with a fire that happened in the fourth year of a bad drought. This choice of beginning gives us a real sense of the environment and what the people there face. They have droughts, blizzards, and fire to deal with every year. 

Kendra is the oldest of three children, with a sister Kaela, and a brother Anthony. Her mother, Jan, was a teacher, avid hiker, and played flute in a local orchestra. Her father, Robert, has done a lot of different things since moving to the area as a young man. He has dredged streams, pumped gas, run a Greyhound office, flown hot air balloons, and runs a map company that makes maps of the region. He also built his own airplane, played trombone in the local orchestra, and is very tall, 6'8". I was intrigued by the house she grew up in, which was built by a retired engineer from the L.A. Dept. of Water and Power from old growth redwood that had been salvaged from water tanks in L.A. 

Kendra and her siblings grew up without television and had only local radio. Instead, they had stories, legends, history, and poetry. Their mother created special places and characters for them and they played in this way as they explored the world around them. 

Kendra's mother died when Kendra was sixteen, and the family fell apart gradually despite her father's efforts. She takes us through what she herself went through, and more briefly what her siblings have experienced. 

She gives us a lot of information about the area she lives in, the Owens Valley, known to the indigenous and Payahuunadu. She also includes a lot of history of the area, and gives passages from other writers that lived or passed through the region. One of these is Mary Austin, who came there in 1892, and witnessed the changes that happened when John Mulholland came up with the plan to capture the water for the city of Los Angeles, 250 miles south. She also talks about the indigenous, the Paiute, who were driven out of the area, into the desert to the east, but returned and stayed. 

Kendra went to college in Los Angeles, and grad school in Minnesota. 

She made the whole area come alive for me, as well as making her own experiences relatable and vivid. A fascinating book. 

Boat Girl

Finished May 8

Boat Girl by Melanie Neale

This memoir grew on me as I got further into it. Melanie's story goes from her beginning to age 32, sometimes jumping a few years in the later sections. Her parents bought a new sailboat shortly before she was born, and she spent her youth growing up on the boat, travelling from her parent's home port in Virginia to Florida and from there to the Bahamas, usually on the smaller islands that make up the Exumas. Her father had worked as a lawyer prior to this, and used the money he earned there to buy the boat and fund the first few years of sailing. He began writing about their experiences and about sailing in more general ways and wrote both books and articles and continued to fund their life from these endeavours. 

I found her life interesting, from her parents' insistence on proper schooling using correspondence material from accredited schools, to encouraging her to learn practical skills that went along with owning a large sailboat and living on it. She dealt with some common teen issues such as finding friends and body image, and with her father's expectations around her relationships. 

I liked that she thought about what she really enjoyed doing and changed her major in college early to concentrate on that passion. 

Both informative and personally open, this memoir gives a realistic view of this way of life.  

Somewhere Towards the End

Finished April 28

Somewhere Towards the End by Diana Athill

This is a collection of essays about various subjects around aging. It was an absolute delight to read. Written by Athill when she was eighty-nine (she lived to the age of one hundred and one) she has personal reflections on many topics. Athill was an editor and writer and her skill with words shines through here. 

She talks about relationships, sex, children, friendships, gardening, drawing, reading, writing, and health. She isn't afraid to be honest about her feelings, her mistakes, or her life choices. This book won the Costa biography award and I found it a joy to read. 

She lived a full life, and took joy in many things, and her attitude is refreshing. There are sixteen pieces here, with a postscript that I loved. 

I Should Have Stayed Home

Finished April 8

I Should Have Stayed Home: The Worst Trips of Great Writers edited by Roger Rapoport and Marguerita Castanera

This is a reread for me. I read it years ago, but brought it to a class I was teaching as a part of a Readers' Advisory exercise where the students had a few minutes to examine a book and then do a recommendation. The student who got this book said that she wouldn't recommend it as the stories were all white people complaining about other cultures. I certainly hadn't remembered it that way, but fair, it had been a while since I read it, and also, I, being white, might have missed that back then. 

So I reread it. 

The book was published in 1994 and contains 50 stories, an introduction, and an afterward. The money raised from sales of the book went towards Oxfam. 

* The introduction is by American novelist and travel writer Mary Morris. She talks about a keynote address she gave that consisted of strange and amazing things that happened to her while travelling. She talks about the things you remember are the bad things that happen and that humour is the most important thing to keep with you, and how food can bring back memories better than most other things. Her anecdotes from unusual food to illness to police encounters. 

* Sex and Coq au Vin by Chilean-American writer Isabel Allende tells of her first visit to Paris where she and her then-husband who cooked their own French meal while camping in the Bois de Boulogne.

* All the Way with LBJ by journalist and political writer Muriel Dobbin tells of a trip with President Johnson as part of the White House press corps which started as a trip to Australia for the funeral of the Prime Minister and turned into a multi-day tour of Asia just before Christmas, with the last stop being Rome, Italy on the way home. 

* Into the Denki Furo by Jeff Greenwald, American writer, tells of his experience with a electric bath in Japan

* Night of the Army Ants by poet Mary Mackey recounts the time in Guatemala where she and her sister splurged for a good hotel only to wake in the middle of the night when army ants went through the building, including her bed. 

* How I Became a Purveyor of Caviar and Champagne on the Trans-Siberian by Alev Lytle Croutier, Turkish-American playwright, tells of her 1960s era trip from Siberia to Europe, where she had naively changed all her money to rubles upon entering the USSR only to find out she had to spend them before leaving. She ended up spending it all on caviar, vodka, and champagne at the final stop before leaving the country, and selling it to her fellow passengers on the rest of the trip.

* A Winter's Night by Eric Hansen, travel writer, on his arrival back in New York City with hardly any money in the winter, and surviving a night in Grand Central Station.

* Non-Stop to London by Michael Dorris is about his flight misadventures on one trip.

* Entering Paradise by Judith Greber is about a much-anticipated trip to Bali that began with misplaced documents and a night with multitudes of insects.

* Enlightened Sahib by journalist Dominique Lapierre is about his first foray into the slums of Calcutta as the guest of a Catholic priest.

* Thousand and Two Nights by Pico Iyer is about his first trip to Egypt as a young man with his Swedish girlfriend and the endless sexual harassment she faced.

* The Dirt on Mudbaths by Alice Kahn has her remembering her very first trip ti an Illinois resort and the prank her and a friend pulled.

* Borderline Blues (with Herpetile) by Richard Harris is about the time he accidentally had a small lizard when he arrived at the US border coming back from Mexico.

* Not in Kansas Anymore by Joe Gores tells of his adventurous trip out of Africa after living in Kenya for three years.

* I Think Our Driver Is Stoned: The Slow Road from Istanbul to Herat by Rick Steves is a tale of a wild bus trip.

* Maddening Madagascar by Lisa Alpine tells of her family's encounters staying in hotels that turned out to be full of prostitutes.

* Tail End by Suzanne Lipsett is the story of an unpleasant experience when she tried to a fellow traveller a favour.

* Seeking the Mother of Immortal Bliss: The Temple at Vallickavu by Nami Mann tells of going after her daughter to the site of a religious guru.

* Chimgan by Claudia J. Martin is about travelling through eastern Russia as the only woman in a ski group tour. 

* The First and Last Meal by Carole L Peccorini is about her experience as an Earthwatch volunteer in Borneo and an unexpected encounter with an orangutan.

* And There's the Rub by Stacy Ritz is about a strange massage in Belize.

* Sahafin American by Larry Collins tells of his adventure trying to get a scoop as a young journalist in the Middle East.

* Adrift by Joe Cummings tells of his impulsive and harrowing trip to see Krakatau.

* The Flight from Hell by Donald W. George is about a trip home from Jamaica that had several mishaps.

* Ai Yi by Molly Giles is about a stormy boat trip in Mexico.

* Rafting the Sewers of the Rhineland by Louis B. Jones tells of the crazy trip by inflatable boat he and a friend took down the Rhine.

* A Tourist in Haiti by Larry O'Connor tells of a strange tour he took there.

* Travels with Suna by Shirley Streshinsky is about a strange occurrence on an Air India flight.

* Lost and Found by Tony Wheeler has two stories, one about a stolen car and one about a stopover mix-up.

* Poles Apart by Georgia Hesse tells of an adventure to the North Pole.

* A Caribbean Tale by Abigail Wine is about her first adventure in Cuba and the hospitality of a local family.

* Camera Karma by Robert Holmes has three stories: one of rock-climbing in England's Peak District, one of a wedding in central Algeria, and one of his first major National Geographic assignment in Northern Pakistan.

* An African Christmas by Paul Theroux is about a time he made a getaway from a situation in Zambia.

* The Yi-Ching: A Yarrowing Experience by Katherine Neville tells of a prediction she was given that came true in an unexpected way. 

* The Existential Washing Machine by Adrianne Marcus describes her encounter with a washing machine in a rented Paris apartment.

* Donner Party by Scott Christopher Green tells of a freshman trip with his gymnastics team in a traffic jam in a California heatwave.

* Somewhere Under the Rainbow by Barbara Kingsolver is the story of a dress code violation at the Rainbow Room in New York City.

* The "Daggy" Challenge by Christopher P. Baker is about his attempt at a shortcut in Costa Rica.

* Beltless in Bali by Burl Willes tells of a theft in the night.

* Getting Away from the Promised Land by Evelyn Kieran is about her trip to Egypt with other writers for an adventure magazine.

* Passage to India by Helen Gurley Brown is about exploding aerosols in suitcases, missing flight documents and (my take here) an annoying husband.

* First Date with Misadventure by Richard Bangs is about a secret experience on his first camping trip.

* Libidinous Finns by Linda Watanabe McFerrin tells of an overnight train trip to Paris.

* Salt Lake City by Nightfall by Susan Dunlap is of a disappointing motel.

* The Worst Bus Ride in All Mexico by Janet Fullwood is self-explanatory.

* The Best Restaurant in Town? by Marcia Muller and Bill Pronzini is of a bad eatery in Idaho.

* Puerto Plata: Just Say No by Barbara Ann Curcio gives us the combination of a bad hotel and bad weather.

* All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go by Stan Sesser is the story of the lack of public washrooms in Nepal. This one does leave one feeling that he was culturally dismissive.

* Trouble in Terontola by William Petrocelli is about three different bad experiences that all involved this Italian town.

* Maui for One by Roger Rapoport tells of an assignment that took him to Maui right after his divorce.

* Bad Things Don't Happen to Me by Jan Morris says that she's had no bad travel experiences.

* The Afterward explains how this book came about.

So, the contents weren't exactly as I'd remembered them, but with the exception of one tale they didn't exhibit bad attitude towards local inhabitants. 

All Things Consoled

Finished October 2

All Things Consoled: a Daughter's Memoir by Elizabeth Hay

This memoir covers the last few years of Hay's parents lives, her relationship with them then and earlier, and the life that went on around them. She really brings her parents to life in terms of personality, both good and bad aspects, and tries to discover what made them act the way they did. 

Her father could be charming or cruel, kind or curt, jealous or complimentary. Her mother observant or forgetful, docile or independent, a peacemaker or troublesome. We see these different pieces of them and how they influenced her and her relationship with them as well as her siblings. We can also see how her parents' actions affected the relationships between siblings. 

Because she was the closest to where they lived, it made sense to move them from London, Ontario to Ottawa as they became unable to live on their own. While she touches on bits of emptying the house they lived in for years, it is only a note compared to the relationships that she looks at more closely. Both her parents had failing health and her mother had dementia. The title of the book is from a comment her mother made to her. 

A fascinating look into someone else's life, I found it sad at times, and funny at others. We see the roles that education, art, pride, and nature had in their lives and how they both loved each other and were annoyed by each other. 

Hay's wonderful writing shows here. 

Nurse!

Finished March 27

Nurse! A Memoir by Francene Cosman

This memoir covers the years from 1959 through 1962 during Francene's years at nursing school in Saint John, New Brunswick. She was among the last group of women who did their nursing education affiliated with the Saint John General Hospital. Francene McCarthy, as she was at that time, gives a detailed and lively account of her years becoming a nurse, focusing on the experiences related to her education and living in the attached student nurse dormitory. I found it an enlightening and fascinating read. 

The details are so interesting, from the clothing requirements to the duties they worked their way through as they gained experience in their chosen profession. We get real insight into the infrastructure of the hospital of the time, the social nuances, and the hospital hierarchy. 

She tells a great story and the scenes really came to life for me, whether they were student hijinks or serious situations in the operating room. 

Francene went on to get further education in nursing and worked as a nurse before becoming a mother, and later a politician. Her epilogue give information on her later life, but also the fate of the hospital, dormitory and other related topics. 

Whether you are a New Brunswick native, a nurse, or just someone interested in the lives of others, this book will have something for you. 

You All Grow Up and Leave Me

Finished December 31

You All Grow Up and Leave Me: A Memoir of Teenage Obsession by Piper Weiss

This memoir is about Piper's relationship with a tennis coach, Gary Wilensky, who, when she was fourteen, attacked a former student and then later killed himself. As Piper works through her emotions around the man she liked and trusted, she looks at him as well. 

Piper was a private school student, a girl shorter than her peers, who found tennis an activity she could be special in. Gary was a sought after instructor, with a personality that was engaging. He made his teen students feel special, taking them to dinner and buying them presents. He treated them as peers. 

When one of his students felt that something was off and told her mother, she stopped taking lessons from him, and that triggered something in him. He had a plan, but he was also panicking in the moment of action, and that led to mistakes that led to him aborting his plan and finding himself with no way out. 

This is a sad story, a story of questions that don't all have answers. The author also has issues and wonders why this is a story that she still cares about years later. As a journalist, she's done her research, interviewed who she could, and been open about her own story, leaving me sad for her as well. 

The title comes from a conversation she had near the end of her time with Gary when he said this and she promised that she wouldn't, that she'd be there for him, and perhaps this is her way of keeping that promise. 

Underwater to Get Out of the Rain

Finished June 3

Underwater to Get Out of The Rain: A Love Affair with the Sea by Trevor Norton

This memoir covers Norton's life as a marine biologist, particularly his site research, as well as the history of marine biology as a whole as he looks back at his predecessors and talks about the young researchers he has worked with. Norton was born in the U.K. and did most of his work while affiliated with universities there. His work studying ocean life necessitated travelling to many places around the world and diving into the water to explore and observe. He obviously loves his job, in particular the variety of creatures he has seen and their behaviour. 

I loved learning about this part of science, and finding out about so many creatures that I wasn't familiar with. He made no secret of the some the dangers inherent in diving, including ones in specific locales. He talks about the health of the ecosystems, how politics and economics have their effect, and about local feelings about research, tourism, and other ocean related activities. 

Norton's writing flows and this book was an entertaining read, with humour in spots. 

There are also small drawing scattered throughout the book, which add to the context of the writing, and they are done by the author's wife, Win Norton.

Kym

Finished March 26

Kym by Joyce Stranger

This memoir is about the first cat Joyce owned as an adult, a Siamese cat named Kym. Joyce lived in England and her family was an active one, and after a bad boarding experience, described here, they took Kym on their travels with them. As a child, Joyce was drawn to Siamese cats and had always wanted one of her own. 

Kym has quite the personality, and engages in many adventures, some of which require veterinary care to recover from. The love the family has for him is shown by their actions and they both admire his intrepid streak, and worry about him getting into something beyond his ability to handle. He particularly took to Joyce, travelling on her shoulder and talking to her often. 

As a cat lover, I loved to see the personality of this cat really come through in the memoir, and could picture his adventures and his tales of them in my head easily. A great book for cat lovers. 

Talking To Girls About Duran Duran

Finished November 17

Talking To Girls About Duran Duran: One Young Man's Quest for True Love and a Cooler Haircut by Rob Sheffield

I was driving the other day, listening to the CBC, where on Q they were interviewing Nick Rhodes, due to the new Duran Duran album being released. I enjoyed the interview, and remembered a book that had been on my shelf  for far too long, this one. I went home and hunted it out and began to read it. 

The book is a memoir, mostly of Rob's life in the 1980s, told around music, which always played a big role in his life, even before it became linked to his career. 

The introduction explains the books title, and the last chapter is the last song by the group in the '80s, "All She Wants Is", but in between are many other songs by many other groups and individual singers, and many of them are ones I also know, from my own youth. 

I read this book by first watching the music video of each song and then reading the chapter, which was definitely a fun way to do it. Some of the songs are discussed in terms of how they came into or influenced the author's life, others are only mentioned in passing, with the chapter discussing the format, genre, or something else related to the song. But they were all interesting, and I really enjoyed both the music and the memoir.

A few of the later songs weren't familiar to me, and don't call to me now, but it was interesting to see how they played a role in the author's life. 

It made me think of the songs I loved growing up, which ones I made mix tapes of, played repeatedly, or bought. A fun look back to the '80s. 

Easy Crafts for the Insane

Finished November 12

Easy Crafts for the Insane: A Mostly Funny Memoir of Mental Illness and Making Things by Kelly Williams Brown

This memoir covers a few difficult years in the author's life. During this time she underwent several losses (divorce, breakup of relationship, loss of friendships, death of pets) and physical pain (breaking both arms and an ankle), not to mention mental illness. 

Kelly had been diagnosed and treated for depression at a very young age, and continued to battle this into her adult years, but during this time period, her treatments changed, and she had more severe and new mental challenges. 

All her life, one of her comforts has been crafting and throughout this book she includes several simple crafts for the reader, giving step by step instructions and, in some cases, direction to more information available online. 

She is very open about all her experiences during this time, both how she made bad decisions, and didn't always consider how her actions would affect those around her, not recognizing the pain she caused them at the time, and how they affected her in ways they didn't understand at the time either. 

Luckily, she was able to afford and get the help she needed, a privilege that she recognizes that not everyone going through similar challenges will have and she makes arguments for improving the access to mental health care.

This memoir definitely has elements of humour and the author is more than willing to laugh at herself and her experiences while still acknowledging the serious nature of what she went through.

Eye-opening and very engaging. 

Childhood, Youth, Dependency

Finished October 6

Childhood, Youth, Dependency by Tove Ditlevsen, translated by Tiina Nunnally and Michael Favala Goldman

The first two parts of this memoir, Childhood and Youth were first published in 1967, and the third Dependency in 1971, with the translations in 1985 and 2019 respectively. Here, they have been brought together in one volume. 

Ditlevsen was born to a working class family in Copenhagen with a father involved in unions and socialism and a mother who valued reputation and looks. She was close to her brother, who was a few years older. Despite her teachers' encouragement, she was not able to go on to high school, leaving at the age of fourteen to work, first as household help and eventually in officework. 

From a young age, she wrote poetry, inspired by the world and people around her and her own imagination, writing beyond her own experiences, "lies" as her brother put it, and hoping to become a published writer someday, despite her father telling her that women weren't poets. 

She found a couple of men that encouraged her, but it was only with the third, the editor and publisher of a small literary newsletter that she gained success, as well as her first husband. 

She was very focused on her own life and needs, and the men that cared for her, living an insular life of sorts, surrounded by literary people and academics, and not largely affected by greater world events. 

I found it interesting that despite being a young woman during World War II, when Denmark was occupied by the Germans, she seemed hardly affected by their presence or their actions. The men in her life continued to go about their normal lives, with some entering the world of the resistance in small ways. 

She is very frank about her relationships and her personal life in general including her addiction to drugs that arose through her fourth husband, and her choices around him. 

This is not a happy book, despite her success as a writer, but it is a compelling read and one written with skill. 

This Is The Night Our House Will Catch Fire

Finished September 3

This Is The Night Our House Will Catch Fire: a Memoir by Nick Flynn

This memoir began with Flynn telling stories of his childhood to his young daughter. One story was about the night the first house his mother owned caught fire when he was seven years old. It was across the street from the fire station, and it had significant asbestos content, so although heavily damaged, it didn't burn down. Other stories are about the old man who lived nearby, the fear he instilled and the odd collections of things he had. He talks about the saltmarsh he crossed to get to school, and the world of books he lived in.

Alongside these stories to his daughter he talks about the trips he made back to his hometown with her, his marriage and the insecurities and communication issues that affect it, and his mother's death by suicide. 

The chapters here are short and dreamlike, as he tries to piece together his past and make sense of what are memories and what has been imagined. He examines how that fiery night has stayed with him and still affects him in many ways. The writing caught me and held me to the story, wanting to see what he learned, how he moved forward following his exposure of the past and the secrets he held onto. 

The Only Girl in the World

Finished August 30

The Only Girl in the World: a memoir by Maude Julien with Ursula Gauthier, translated by Adriana Hunter

This memoir is a dark tale of a girl raised by a autocratic father that thought he was superior and who chose his future wife when she was herself a young girl, raising her to be able to educate a child to the purpose he envisioned, being a future world leader able to survive difficult situations. He had been active in the Resistance in World War II, and was a member of a secretive Freemason group. 

His war experience led him to ensure his daughter was able to do several things: sit for hours without moving; not let her feelings show through any facial expressions; navigate in the dark under time constraints; and have the skills to make it through concentration camps.

For the first, he began by having her sit still in his presence, but soon had her sit on a stool in the dark cellar, where there were rats, with bells on her clothing so he could tell if she moved. He trained her to keep her emotions, including preferences to herself, letting nothing show on her face, and making choices quickly to not give away weakness. He structured her entire day with tasks and lessons, having her work with laborers he hired to build things, look after the few animals on their property, assist in butchering animals for meat, and attend his every need. Her food intake was controlled, and often her bread was left to go deliberately stale before she was allowed to eat it. She had no medical or dental care, but had strange scars on her body that she still doesn't know the origin of. 

He had seen that musicians were often kept from death in the concentration camps and so had her learn multiple musical instruments including piano, accordion, violin, and drums. This became one of her comforts in life. She also took comfort in the animals on the property, trying to take time to show them love when she could. 

Her mother, under her father's power from a young age, participated in the control enacted on her, exacting punishments and showing resentment on her as well. But from time to time, her mother also spoke against her father, with Maude afraid to agree lest it be used against her later. 

It was through the influence of a music instructor that Maude was eventually able to leave her father's home, and begin to make a life for herself, but it took years for her to find appropriate therapy and begin to deal with the issues created by her strange upbringing.

Her father seems to be both selfish and delusional, but ultimately a weak man. But he made her life full of constant fear and I am glad that she was able to escape and now life a good life. 

By the Light of the Crescent Moon

Finished August 26

By the Light of the Crescent Moon by Ailsa Keppie

This memoir is one that is sometimes uncomfortable to read as Ailsa gives up her autonomy and even her identity to the man she falls in love with. Her story is an extreme version of one many women have, where they try to become what someone else expects them to be, and lose themselves in the process. The author didn't feel loved growing up, and her need for love was thus easily exploited by a handsome man who focused on her, telling her how lucky she was to be chosen by him. She gives us some idea of her life before meeting him, showing that she had explored her sexuality to some extent, but hadn't had a real relationship before Said. Ailsa was a successful circus performer, skilled in her trade, and with other entertainment related skills as well. 

Once they started living together, she made the decision to become Muslim, and this decision process isn't explained here, but her main story begins after she has converted and started to dress in more conservative Muslim clothing, and stop contact with most of her previous friends. Seeing how she became isolated and found new friends and acquaintances in the same situation as herself and grew ever more conservative in her dress and activities really exemplified her desire to please her now husband. 

Her visit to her family in Nova Scotia shortly after becoming married described her husband's charm and the persona he presented publicly, different from the one he sometimes showed her. Said comes across as a selfish and self-centered man, focused on his own needs and pleasures. He changes Ailsa's name to a Moroccan one that is similar and she complies, he celebrates her moves to more intense religious behaviours as rewards for himself, he refuses to help her with looking after the house or with the children they have as he wants her not to become dependent in case he must go away to work, but he doesn't provide for her financially or emotionally. He is a taker, not a partner. 

Ailsa knows there is something wrong with their relationship even as she submits to him more and more, and it is only when he suggests a way for her to get out of her situation (although no help in doing it) that she breaks free.

This is a story of a dysfunctional relationship by a woman whose lack of self esteem allowed her to fall further and further away from her true self. There are glimmers from time to time as she makes a connection or takes an action, but it is a long time before she can connect with her own wants and needs again. 

At times this book was difficult to read as Ailsa abased herself, but it was satisfying to see her finally recognize that this relationship was not one of love at all and find a way out for herself. I hope she finds strength in her self as she moves into the future without becoming dependent again.

Guest Post by Ailsa Keppie, Author of By the Light of the Crescent Moon

 Today we have a guest post by a Canadian author whose book just launched. 

 

Why I wrote By the Light of the Crescent Moon – Ailsa Keppie

I remember starting to write about my life about 25 years ago. I had just finished

working as a trapeze artist in the circus and had converted to Islam. I had become an

unemployed, married, pregnant, Muslim woman in a matter of only a few months.

The change had been such a shock that even my friends had reeled back when I came

out. Many of them turned away, not knowing how to be in relationship with someone

who seemed so radically different than the person they’d known up until that point. 

I had always known, even when I was still in high school, that I wanted to ‘live life’ and experience more so that I could express my fullest potential to touch people’s hearts and souls. Back then, I did everything with one foot on the gas and one on the brake pedal. I could never fully find my flow. I had searched many paths and I finally thought I had found something that spoke to the completeness of being human—Islam. However, although this path taught me much, I found out years later, that it was still not my destination in life. 

Throughout these years I wrote off and on, mostly in my diary. I wrote about my passions and my struggles, my children and my work. But it wasn’t until I had finally broken free from my marriage and left the religious practices of Islam that I finally found my voice. I was back in Canada, having re-trained as a massage therapist, raising my four girls. Life seemed full and yet I found solace in my morning practice of writing a page a day of my memoir. I would sit with my iPad and punch in the words, finally allowing myself to feel all those moments that I had lived through. I cried over every page. 

There were times I could feel myself detaching from the emotion. My words on the page would become robotic…. ‘this happened and then that…’ kind of thing. I would get up in a daze and wonder why I felt so foggy. Little did I know that I was doing my own therapy with every push of the keys. I would sit down again with the words the next day, asking myself ‘if I was writing about someone else, what would they be feeling now?’ And then I would be off again in a flurry of emotion. 

After finally writing the last page, I remember wondering ‘so what do I do now?’, where does this go from here? A friend suggested a local writing coach and I met with her. She was super supportive and spent six months reading my manuscript. Then the difficult task of chopping and changing my words and listening to her suggestions. Finally, it was ready for an actual editor! 

The excitement of sitting with a real editor and having her tell me my story was great, was such a beautiful validation of my work on it.  We again re-worked the whole manuscript and began the process of publishing my book with OC publishing. This book is the culmination of decades of living and years of writing. It feels like a moment to cherish. I also realized through writing this book that my mission to help others find their own empowerment has finally taken front and centre in my life. This book is my story and what I hope will be inspiration for others who have ever felt trapped in their lives. Freedom comes from letting go and grieving the past while also looking forward and finding hope. 

Ailsa Keppie

www.pleasureforhealth.com

www.ourceltichearth.com